While enjoying dinner, a friend came to mind. I remember earlier this year my friend had experience some hurt. I pondered, what should I do? – should I send a message “just checking on your heart” or just let it be. I feared, what if this person is doing ok and my text remind them of the pain they had gone through. What if I don’t and maybe just now they need a shoulder to “cry on”, someone to remind them, you are not alone, even if you feel alone. I am here, if/when you need me. I was torn between the two.
Suddenly my heart was sadden as I also thought of a friend I recently lost, who had a heart condition. I recall viewing his status two night before he past away. He was sharing how he could not sleep, I said I would text later to check up on how he was doing since it was already after 1 in the morning. Unfortunately, I did not. I wish I did. What if? Would it had made a difference? I’ll never know. He was always checking up on me but I failed to return the favor. At work he spend his break time with me, he was always early for work and most times his first stop was to come and see me. I so looked forward to his hugs in the morning. An innocent and sweet soul he was, walking around with a lot of energy and happy spirit. No one would have guessed he had difficulties with his heart.
“People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who do not need help.” There is a popular saying “Check on you strong friend, your busy friend and your seems to handle everything well friend.”
The truth is, we can never really know what someone is going through by looking at them. Looks are deceptive. People can wear a smile as bright as the sun when inside feels like you are in a forest alone, bitten by a venomous snake. You felt the pain from the bite and you ignored it, you are badly hurt but you kept going. You need to stop and attend to the affected area but you didn’t and now it is swollen, the poison is spreading. After a while, you have gotten weak so you fell. It was too much. It was only a matter of time. No one sees what’s happening inside, your beautiful smile is shining, hiding it so well. A smile does not mean one is okay.
Can you imagine, this very person could be the person you always seek to run to for help. Because they are your “strong friend” you pour out your heart to them time and time again but never once stop to ask, “hi friend, how is your heart?”
Your “strong friend” need a “strong friend” too!
Oh no, he/she is fine, they don’t need my help. Plus there is nothing I can do.
How do you know? Did you ever tried? Have you check on them lately? How about you stand in the gap this one time.
There is a lovely song that I like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kaOkmJmxr0&feature=emb_logo
“I heard that you were hurting
That you were suffering pain
But I didn’t dare just turn my head
And look the other way.
For when your heart is aching
My heart is aching too
Let me help you bear your burdens
That’s the least I can do.
I’ll be standing in the gap for you
Just remember someone somewhere
Is praying for you
Calling out your name
Praying for your strength
I’ll be standing in the gap for you”…..
In the book of beginning we see where God said it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen. 2) You would have think Adam was fine on his own right? He had dominion, he was in charge. He was able to name all the animals by himself. However, God saw it necessary for him to have someone with him. It was needful for him to have a help meet. How are we any different? Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tell us ” Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” Together is better so we can help to support each other. It shouldn’t be a one way street. I can call on you when I need you but when you need me Im no where to be found. I need you, you need me.
People need people. Whether we accept it or not. Even if you may like to be alone, lock away in your small corner. People are made for people. We need each other.
Had it been you suffering hurt, wouldnt you had like someone to check on you?
How about you check on your strong friends heart! Remind them that you care, encourage their heart. Let them know they still have a place in your life just in case they haven’t felt like it lately. Think about something they have done and let them know you appreciate them. Tell them something you admire about them. Highlight their strong area. How bad can it be? How much will it cost you?
Go ahead, share a kind word with a friend (love ones). You’ll be surprise how much they need to hear it and how much difference it makes.